I'll take one very tall man with a bent nose, please.

In case you're wondering, yes Stephen Fry is narrating Benjamin Sniddlegrass and the Cauldron of Penguins. I sat down with the man I've idolized since I was prepubescent this afternoon and laid down the track. He was as lovely as you might expect, his performance exceeded my wildest expectations and he pronounced the script 'very funny'. Well, if that didn't just make my year.
 

He also suggested I rope Michael Sheen in for a cameo, as he not only can play anyone but is a friend of Wittertainment. Perhaps he'd be up for portraying a sociopathic wizard with the head of a gorilla?

Benjamin Sniddlegrass and the Cauldron of Penguins

As our Twitter followers may be aware, Seven Shells Media has helped to incite an international multimedia phenomenon known as Benjamin Sniddlegrass and the Cauldron of Penguins.

This requires some primers for those unfamiliar with Wittertainment - here is a good introduction to Mark Kermode and Simon Mayo's incomparable Friday film programme.

About a month ago, during a review of Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief, Dr Kermode and Dr Mayo began referring to the film as Benjamin Sniddlegrass and the Cauldron of Penguins, on the basis that it resembled a Harry Potter parody book.

This fired the imagination of one Jeremy Dylan, Creative Director of Seven Shells Media, who set about creating this monstrosity. Bits of this have been broadcast on BBC Radio Five live, read by Dr Mayo himself and fan mail has been received from all corners of the European union, including the UK and the Netherlands. In addition to the blog, there is a Facebook page for the 'film production', which currently has over 400 fans.

In response to this insanity, Seven Shells Media is announcing production of an actual, honest-to-goodness motion picture of Benjamin Sniddlegrass and the Cauldron of Penguins, to be directed by "Christopher Columbus" (Jeremy Dylan), written by Jeremy Dylan and starring some attractive young people and slightly less attractive middle-aged people.

Plans are being laid for location filming in the UK, and an abridged radio drama adaptation, which will be released in the lead up to the film. Mark Kermode and Simon Mayo have committed - on the air - to coming to the premiere in Australia. Acclaimed British actor Jason Isaacs (Green Zone, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire) has expressed an interest in playing all the penguins - which may pose a challenge for the special effects team.

Stay tuned for more updates.

And let the magic begin.